Chapter Eighteen

CHAPTER 18


DR. SEWARD'S DIARY

30 September.--I got home at five o'clock, and found that Godalming
and Morris had not only arrived, but had already studied the
transcript of the various diaries and letters which Harker had not yet
returned from his visit to the carriers' men, of whom Dr. Hennessey
had written to me. Mrs. Harker gave us a cup of tea, and I can
honestly say that, for the first time since I have lived in it, this
old house seemed like home. When we had finished, Mrs. Harker said,

"Dr. Seward, may I ask a favour? I want to see your patient, Mr.
Renfield. Do let me see him. What you have said of him in your diary
interests me so much!"

She looked so appealing and so pretty that I could not refuse her, and
there was no possible reason why I should, so I took her with me.
When I went into the room, I told the man that a lady would like to see
him, to which he simply answered, "Why?"

"She is going through the house, and wants to see every one in it," I
answered.

"Oh, very well," he said, "let her come in, by all means, but just
wait a minute till I tidy up the place."

His method of tidying was peculiar, he simply swallowed all the flies
and spiders in the boxes before I could stop him. It was quite
evident that he feared, or was jealous of, some interference. When he
had got through his disgusting task, he said cheerfully, "Let the lady
come in," and sat down on the edge of his bed with his head down, but
with his eyelids raised so that he could see her as she entered. For
a moment I thought that he might have some homicidal intent. I
remembered how quiet he had been just before he attacked me in my own
study, and I took care to stand where I could seize him at once if he
attempted to make a spring at her.

She came into the room with an easy gracefulness which would at once
command the respect of any lunatic, for easiness is one of the
qualities mad people most respect. She walked over to him, smiling
pleasantly, and held out her hand.

"Good evening, Mr. Renfield," said she. "You see, I know you, for Dr.
Seward has told me of you." He made no immediate reply, but eyed her
all over intently with a set frown on his face. This look gave way to
one of wonder, which merged in doubt, then to my intense astonishment
he said, "You're not the girl the doctor wanted to marry, are you? You
can't be, you know, for she's dead."

Mrs. Harker smiled sweetly as she replied, "Oh no! I have a husband
of my own, to whom I was married before I ever saw Dr. Seward, or he
me. I am Mrs. Harker."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"My husband and I are staying on a visit with Dr. Seward."

"Then don't stay."

"But why not?"

I thought that this style of conversation might not be pleasant to
Mrs. Harker, any more than it was to me, so I joined in, "How did you
know I wanted to marry anyone?"

His reply was simply contemptuous, given in a pause in which he turned
his eyes from Mrs. Harker to me, instantly turning them back again,
"What an asinine question!"

"I don't see that at all, Mr. Renfield," said Mrs. Harker, at once
championing me.

He replied to her with as much courtesy and respect as he had shown
contempt to me, "You will, of course, understand, Mrs. Harker, that
when a man is so loved and honoured as our host is, everything
regarding him is of interest in our little community. Dr. Seward is
loved not only by his household and his friends, but even by his
patients, who, being some of them hardly in mental equilibrium, are
apt to distort causes and effects. Since I myself have been an inmate
of a lunatic asylum, I cannot but notice that the sophistic tendencies
of some of its inmates lean towards the errors of non causa and
ignoratio elenche."

I positively opened my eyes at this new development. Here was my own
pet lunatic, the most pronounced of his type that I had ever met with,
talking elemental philosophy, and with the manner of a polished
gentleman. I wonder if it was Mrs. Harker's presence which had
touched some chord in his memory. If this new phase was spontaneous,
or in any way due to her unconscious influence, she must have some
rare gift or power.

We continued to talk for some time, and seeing that he was seemingly
quite reasonable, she ventured, looking at me questioningly as she
began, to lead him to his favourite topic. I was again astonished,
for he addressed himself to the question with the impartiality of
the completest sanity. He even took himself as an example when he
mentioned certain things.

"Why, I myself am an instance of a man who had a strange belief.
Indeed, it was no wonder that my friends were alarmed, and insisted on
my being put under control. I used to fancy that life was a positive
and perpetual entity, and that by consuming a multitude of live
things, no matter how low in the scale of creation, one might
indefinitely prolong life. At times I held the belief so strongly
that I actually tried to take human life. The doctor here will bear
me out that on one occasion I tried to kill him for the purpose of
strengthening my vital powers by the assimilation with my own body of
his life through the medium of his blood, relying of course, upon the
Scriptural phrase, 'For the blood is the life.' Though, indeed, the
vendor of a certain nostrum has vulgarized the truism to the very
point of contempt. Isn't that true, doctor?"

I nodded assent, for I was so amazed that I hardly knew what to either
think or say, it was hard to imagine that I had seen him eat up his
spiders and flies not five minutes before. Looking at my watch, I saw
that I should go to the station to meet Van Helsing, so I told Mrs.
Harker that it was time to leave.

She came at once, after saying pleasantly to Mr. Renfield, "Goodbye,
and I hope I may see you often, under auspices pleasanter to
yourself."

To which, to my astonishment, he replied, "Goodbye, my dear. I pray
God I may never see your sweet face again. May He bless and keep
you!"

When I went to the station to meet Van Helsing I left the boys behind
me. Poor Art seemed more cheerful than he has been since Lucy first
took ill, and Quincey is more like his own bright self than he has
been for many a long day.

Van Helsing stepped from the carriage with the eager nimbleness of a
boy. He saw me at once, and rushed up to me, saying, "Ah, friend
John, how goes all? Well? So! I have been busy, for I come here to
stay if need be. All affairs are settled with me, and I have much to
tell. Madam Mina is with you? Yes. And her so fine husband? And
Arthur and my friend Quincey, they are with you, too? Good!"

As I drove to the house I told him of what had passed, and of how my
own diary had come to be of some use through Mrs. Harker's suggestion,
at which the Professor interrupted me.

"Ah, that wonderful Madam Mina! She has man's brain, a brain that a
man should have were he much gifted, and a woman's heart. The good
God fashioned her for a purpose, believe me, when He made that so good
combination. Friend John, up to now fortune has made that woman of
help to us, after tonight she must not have to do with this so
terrible affair. It is not good that she run a risk so great. We men
are determined, nay, are we not pledged, to destroy this monster? But
it is no part for a woman. Even if she be not harmed, her heart may
fail her in so much and so many horrors and hereafter she may suffer,
both in waking, from her nerves, and in sleep, from her dreams. And,
besides, she is young woman and not so long married, there may be
other things to think of some time, if not now. You tell me she has
wrote all, then she must consult with us, but tomorrow she say goodbye
to this work, and we go alone."

I agreed heartily with him, and then I told him what we had found in
his absence, that the house which Dracula had bought was the very next
one to my own. He was amazed, and a great concern seemed to come on
him.

"Oh that we had known it before!" he said, "for then we might have
reached him in time to save poor Lucy. However, 'the milk that is
spilt cries not out afterwards,' as you say. We shall not think of
that, but go on our way to the end." Then he fell into a silence that
lasted till we entered my own gateway. Before we went to prepare for
dinner he said to Mrs. Harker, "I am told, Madam Mina, by my friend
John that you and your husband have put up in exact order all things
that have been, up to this moment."

"Not up to this moment, Professor," she said impulsively, "but up to
this morning."

"But why not up to now? We have seen hitherto how good light all the
little things have made. We have told our secrets, and yet no one who
has told is the worse for it."

Mrs. Harker began to blush, and taking a paper from her pockets, she
said, "Dr. Van Helsing, will you read this, and tell me if it must go
in. It is my record of today. I too have seen the need of putting
down at present everything, however trivial, but there is little in
this except what is personal. Must it go in?"

The Professor read it over gravely, and handed it back, saying, "It
need not go in if you do not wish it, but I pray that it may. It can
but make your husband love you the more, and all us, your friends,
more honour you, as well as more esteem and love." She took it back
with another blush and a bright smile.

And so now, up to this very hour, all the records we have are complete
and in order. The Professor took away one copy to study after dinner,
and before our meeting, which is fixed for nine o'clock. The rest of
us have already read everything, so when we meet in the study we shall
all be informed as to facts, and can arrange our plan of battle with
this terrible and mysterious enemy.





MINA HARKER'S JOURNAL

30 September.--When we met in Dr. Seward's study two hours after
dinner, which had been at six o'clock, we unconsciously formed a sort
of board or committee. Professor Van Helsing took the head of the
table, to which Dr. Seward motioned him as he came into the room. He
made me sit next to him on his right, and asked me to act as
secretary. Jonathan sat next to me. Opposite us were Lord Godalming,
Dr. Seward, and Mr. Morris, Lord Godalming being next the Professor,
and Dr. Seward in the centre.

The Professor said, "I may, I suppose, take it that we are all
acquainted with the facts that are in these papers." We all expressed
assent, and he went on, "Then it were, I think, good that I tell you
something of the kind of enemy with which we have to deal. I shall
then make known to you something of the history of this man, which has
been ascertained for me. So we then can discuss how we shall act, and
can take our measure according.

"There are such beings as vampires, some of us have evidence that they
exist. Even had we not the proof of our own unhappy experience, the
teachings and the records of the past give proof enough for sane
peoples. I admit that at the first I was sceptic. Were it not that
through long years I have trained myself to keep an open mind, I could
not have believed until such time as that fact thunder on my ear. 'See!
See! I prove, I prove.' Alas! Had I known at first what now I know,
nay, had I even guess at him, one so precious life had been spared to
many of us who did love her. But that is gone, and we must so work,
that other poor souls perish not, whilst we can save. The nosferatu
do not die like the bee when he sting once. He is only stronger, and
being stronger, have yet more power to work evil. This vampire which
is amongst us is of himself so strong in person as twenty men, he is
of cunning more than mortal, for his cunning be the growth of ages, he
have still the aids of necromancy, which is, as his etymology imply,
the divination by the dead, and all the dead that he can come nigh to
are for him at command; he is brute, and more than brute; he is devil
in callous, and the heart of him is not; he can, within his range,
direct the elements, the storm, the fog, the thunder; he can command
all the meaner things, the rat, and the owl, and the bat, the moth,
and the fox, and the wolf, he can grow and become small; and he can at
times vanish and come unknown. How then are we to begin our strike to
destroy him? How shall we find his where, and having found it, how
can we destroy? My friends, this is much, it is a terrible task that
we undertake, and there may be consequence to make the brave shudder.
For if we fail in this our fight he must surely win, and then where
end we? Life is nothings, I heed him not. But to fail here, is not
mere life or death. It is that we become as him, that we henceforward
become foul things of the night like him, without heart or conscience,
preying on the bodies and the souls of those we love best. To us
forever are the gates of heaven shut, for who shall open them to us
again? We go on for all time abhorred by all, a blot on the face of
God's sunshine, an arrow in the side of Him who died for man. But we
are face to face with duty, and in such case must we shrink? For me,
I say no, but then I am old, and life, with his sunshine, his fair
places, his song of birds, his music and his love, lie far behind. You
others are young. Some have seen sorrow, but there are fair days yet
in store. What say you?"

Whilst he was speaking, Jonathan had taken my hand. I feared, oh so
much, that the appalling nature of our danger was overcoming him when
I saw his hand stretch out, but it was life to me to feel its touch,
so strong, so self reliant, so resolute. A brave man's hand can speak
for itself, it does not even need a woman's love to hear its music.

When the Professor had done speaking my husband looked in my eyes, and
I in his, there was no need for speaking between us.

"I answer for Mina and myself," he said.

"Count me in, Professor," said Mr. Quincey Morris, laconically as
usual.

"I am with you," said Lord Godalming, "for Lucy's sake, if for no
other reason."

Dr. Seward simply nodded.

The Professor stood up and, after laying his golden crucifix on the
table, held out his hand on either side. I took his right hand, and
Lord Godalming his left, Jonathan held my right with his left and
stretched across to Mr. Morris. So as we all took hands our solemn
compact was made. I felt my heart icy cold, but it did not even occur
to me to draw back. We resumed our places, and Dr. Van Helsing went
on with a sort of cheerfulness which showed that the serious work had
begun. It was to be taken as gravely, and in as businesslike a way,
as any other transaction of life.

"Well, you know what we have to contend against, but we too, are not
without strength. We have on our side power of combination, a power
denied to the vampire kind, we have sources of science, we are free to
act and think, and the hours of the day and the night are ours
equally. In fact, so far as our powers extend, they are unfettered,
and we are free to use them. We have self devotion in a cause and an
end to achieve which is not a selfish one. These things are much.

"Now let us see how far the general powers arrayed against us are
restrict, and how the individual cannot. In fine, let us consider the
limitations of the vampire in general, and of this one in particular.

"All we have to go upon are traditions and superstitions. These do
not at the first appear much, when the matter is one of life and
death, nay of more than either life or death. Yet must we be
satisfied, in the first place because we have to be, no other means is
at our control, and secondly, because, after all these things,
tradition and superstition, are everything. Does not the belief in
vampires rest for others, though not, alas! for us, on them? A year
ago which of us would have received such a possibility, in the midst
of our scientific, sceptical, matter-of-fact nineteenth century? We
even scouted a belief that we saw justified under our very eyes. Take
it, then, that the vampire, and the belief in his limitations and his
cure, rest for the moment on the same base. For, let me tell you, he
is known everywhere that men have been. In old Greece, in old Rome,
he flourish in Germany all over, in France, in India, even in the
Chermosese, and in China, so far from us in all ways, there even is
he, and the peoples for him at this day. He have follow the wake of
the berserker Icelander, the devil-begotten Hun, the Slav, the Saxon,
the Magyar.

"So far, then, we have all we may act upon, and let me tell you that
very much of the beliefs are justified by what we have seen in our own
so unhappy experience. The vampire live on, and cannot die by mere
passing of the time, he can flourish when that he can fatten on the
blood of the living. Even more, we have seen amongst us that he can
even grow younger, that his vital faculties grow strenuous, and seem
as though they refresh themselves when his special pabulum is plenty.

"But he cannot flourish without this diet, he eat not as others. Even
friend Jonathan, who lived with him for weeks, did never see him eat,
never! He throws no shadow, he make in the mirror no reflect, as
again Jonathan observe. He has the strength of many of his hand,
witness again Jonathan when he shut the door against the wolves, and
when he help him from the diligence too. He can transform himself to
wolf, as we gather from the ship arrival in Whitby, when he tear open
the dog, he can be as bat, as Madam Mina saw him on the window at
Whitby, and as friend John saw him fly from this so near house, and as
my friend Quincey saw him at the window of Miss Lucy.

"He can come in mist which he create, that noble ship's captain proved
him of this, but, from what we know, the distance he can make this
mist is limited, and it can only be round himself.

"He come on moonlight rays as elemental dust, as again Jonathan saw
those sisters in the castle of Dracula. He become so small, we
ourselves saw Miss Lucy, ere she was at peace, slip through a
hairbreadth space at the tomb door. He can, when once he find his
way, come out from anything or into anything, no matter how close it
be bound or even fused up with fire, solder you call it. He can see
in the dark, no small power this, in a world which is one half shut
from the light. Ah, but hear me through.

"He can do all these things, yet he is not free. Nay, he is even more
prisoner than the slave of the galley, than the madman in his cell.
He cannot go where he lists, he who is not of nature has yet to obey
some of nature's laws, why we know not. He may not enter anywhere at
the first, unless there be some one of the household who bid him to
come, though afterwards he can come as he please. His power ceases,
as does that of all evil things, at the coming of the day.

"Only at certain times can he have limited freedom. If he be not at
the place whither he is bound, he can only change himself at noon or
at exact sunrise or sunset. These things we are told, and in this
record of ours we have proof by inference. Thus, whereas he can do as
he will within his limit, when he have his earth-home, his
coffin-home, his hell-home, the place unhallowed, as we saw when he
went to the grave of the suicide at Whitby, still at other time he can
only change when the time come. It is said, too, that he can only
pass running water at the slack or the flood of the tide. Then there
are things which so afflict him that he has no power, as the garlic
that we know of, and as for things sacred, as this symbol, my
crucifix, that was amongst us even now when we resolve, to them he is
nothing, but in their presence he take his place far off and silent
with respect. There are others, too, which I shall tell you of, lest
in our seeking we may need them.

"The branch of wild rose on his coffin keep him that he move not from
it, a sacred bullet fired into the coffin kill him so that he be true
dead, and as for the stake through him, we know already of its peace,
or the cut off head that giveth rest. We have seen it with our eyes.

"Thus when we find the habitation of this man-that-was, we can confine
him to his coffin and destroy him, if we obey what we know. But he is
clever. I have asked my friend Arminius, of Buda-Pesth University, to
make his record, and from all the means that are, he tell me of what
he has been. He must, indeed, have been that Voivode Dracula who won
his name against the Turk, over the great river on the very frontier
of Turkeyland. If it be so, then was he no common man, for in that
time, and for centuries after, he was spoken of as the cleverest and
the most cunning, as well as the bravest of the sons of the 'land
beyond the forest.' That mighty brain and that iron resolution went
with him to his grave, and are even now arrayed against us. The
Draculas were, says Arminius, a great and noble race, though now and
again were scions who were held by their coevals to have had dealings
with the Evil One. They learned his secrets in the Scholomance,
amongst the mountains over Lake Hermanstadt, where the devil claims
the tenth scholar as his due. In the records are such words as
'stregoica' witch, 'ordog' and 'pokol' Satan and hell, and in one
manuscript this very Dracula is spoken of as 'wampyr,' which we all
understand too well. There have been from the loins of this very one
great men and good women, and their graves make sacred the earth where
alone this foulness can dwell. For it is not the least of its terrors
that this evil thing is rooted deep in all good, in soil barren of
holy memories it cannot rest."

Whilst they were talking Mr. Morris was looking steadily at the
window, and he now got up quietly, and went out of the room. There
was a little pause, and then the Professor went on.

"And now we must settle what we do. We have here much data, and we
must proceed to lay out our campaign. We know from the inquiry of
Jonathan that from the castle to Whitby came fifty boxes of earth, all
of which were delivered at Carfax, we also know that at least some of
these boxes have been removed. It seems to me, that our first step
should be to ascertain whether all the rest remain in the house beyond
that wall where we look today, or whether any more have been removed.
If the latter, we must trace . . ."

Here we were interrupted in a very startling way. Outside the house
came the sound of a pistol shot, the glass of the window was shattered
with a bullet, which ricochetting from the top of the embrasure,
struck the far wall of the room. I am afraid I am at heart a coward,
for I shrieked out. The men all jumped to their feet, Lord Godalming
flew over to the window and threw up the sash. As he did so we heard
Mr. Morris' voice without, "Sorry! I fear I have alarmed you. I
shall come in and tell you about it."

A minute later he came in and said, "It was an idiotic thing of me to
do, and I ask your pardon, Mrs. Harker, most sincerely, I fear I must
have frightened you terribly. But the fact is that whilst the
Professor was talking there came a big bat and sat on the window sill.
I have got such a horror of the damned brutes from recent events that
I cannot stand them, and I went out to have a shot, as I have been
doing of late of evenings, whenever I have seen one. You used to
laugh at me for it then, Art."

"Did you hit it?" asked Dr. Van Helsing.

"I don't know, I fancy not, for it flew away into the wood." Without
saying any more he took his seat, and the Professor began to resume
his statement.

"We must trace each of these boxes, and when we are ready, we must
either capture or kill this monster in his lair, or we must, so to
speak, sterilize the earth, so that no more he can seek safety in it.
Thus in the end we may find him in his form of man between the hours
of noon and sunset, and so engage with him when he is at his most
weak.

"And now for you, Madam Mina, this night is the end until all be well.
You are too precious to us to have such risk. When we part tonight,
you no more must question. We shall tell you all in good time. We
are men and are able to bear, but you must be our star and our hope,
and we shall act all the more free that you are not in the danger,
such as we are."

All the men, even Jonathan, seemed relieved, but it did not seem to me
good that they should brave danger and, perhaps lessen their safety,
strength being the best safety, through care of me, but their minds
were made up, and though it was a bitter pill for me to swallow, I
could say nothing, save to accept their chivalrous care of me.

Mr. Morris resumed the discussion, "As there is no time to lose, I
vote we have a look at his house right now. Time is everything with
him, and swift action on our part may save another victim."

I own that my heart began to fail me when the time for action came so
close, but I did not say anything, for I had a greater fear that if I
appeared as a drag or a hindrance to their work, they might even leave
me out of their counsels altogether. They have now gone off to
Carfax, with means to get into the house.

Manlike, they had told me to go to bed and sleep, as if a woman can
sleep when those she loves are in danger! I shall lie down, and
pretend to sleep, lest Jonathan have added anxiety about me when he
returns.




DR. SEWARD'S DIARY

1 October, 4 A.M.--Just as we were about to leave the house, an urgent
message was brought to me from Renfield to know if I would see him at
once, as he had something of the utmost importance to say to me. I
told the messenger to say that I would attend to his wishes in the
morning, I was busy just at the moment.

The attendant added, "He seems very importunate, sir. I have never
seen him so eager. I don't know but what, if you don't see him soon,
he will have one of his violent fits." I knew the man would not have
said this without some cause, so I said, "All right, I'll go now," and
I asked the others to wait a few minutes for me, as I had to go and
see my patient.

"Take me with you, friend John," said the Professor. "His case in your
diary interest me much, and it had bearing, too, now and again on our
case. I should much like to see him, and especial when his mind is
disturbed."

"May I come also?" asked Lord Godalming.

"Me too?" said Quincey Morris. "May I come?" said Harker. I nodded,
and we all went down the passage together.

We found him in a state of considerable excitement, but far more
rational in his speech and manner than I had ever seen him. There was
an unusual understanding of himself, which was unlike anything I had
ever met with in a lunatic, and he took it for granted that his
reasons would prevail with others entirely sane. We all five went
into the room, but none of the others at first said anything. His
request was that I would at once release him from the asylum and send
him home. This he backed up with arguments regarding his complete
recovery, and adduced his own existing sanity.

"I appeal to your friends," he said, "they will, perhaps, not mind
sitting in judgement on my case. By the way, you have not introduced
me."

I was so much astonished, that the oddness of introducing a madman in
an asylum did not strike me at the moment, and besides, there was a
certain dignity in the man's manner, so much of the habit of equality,
that I at once made the introduction, "Lord Godalming, Professor Van
Helsing, Mr. Quincey Morris, of Texas, Mr. Jonathan Harker, Mr.
Renfield."

He shook hands with each of them, saying in turn, "Lord Godalming, I
had the honour of seconding your father at the Windham; I grieve to
know, by your holding the title, that he is no more. He was a man
loved and honoured by all who knew him, and in his youth was, I have
heard, the inventor of a burnt rum punch, much patronized on Derby
night. Mr. Morris, you should be proud of your great state. Its
reception into the Union was a precedent which may have far-reaching
effects hereafter, when the Pole and the Tropics may hold alliance to
the Stars and Stripes. The power of Treaty may yet prove a vast
engine of enlargement, when the Monroe doctrine takes its true place
as a political fable. What shall any man say of his pleasure at
meeting Van Helsing? Sir, I make no apology for dropping all forms of
conventional prefix. When an individual has revolutionized
therapeutics by his discovery of the continuous evolution of brain
matter, conventional forms are unfitting, since they would seem to
limit him to one of a class. You, gentlemen, who by nationality, by
heredity, or by the possession of natural gifts, are fitted to hold
your respective places in the moving world, I take to witness that I
am as sane as at least the majority of men who are in full possession
of their liberties. And I am sure that you, Dr. Seward, humanitarian
and medico-jurist as well as scientist, will deem it a moral duty to
deal with me as one to be considered as under exceptional
circumstances." He made this last appeal with a courtly air of
conviction which was not without its own charm.

I think we were all staggered. For my own part, I was under the
conviction, despite my knowledge of the man's character and history,
that his reason had been restored, and I felt under a strong impulse
to tell him that I was satisfied as to his sanity, and would see about
the necessary formalities for his release in the morning. I thought
it better to wait, however, before making so grave a statement, for of
old I knew the sudden changes to which this particular patient was
liable. So I contented myself with making a general statement that he
appeared to be improving very rapidly, that I would have a longer chat
with him in the morning, and would then see what I could do in the
direction of meeting his wishes.

This did not at all satisfy him, for he said quickly, "But I fear, Dr.
Seward, that you hardly apprehend my wish. I desire to go at once,
here, now, this very hour, this very moment, if I may. Time presses,
and in our implied agreement with the old scytheman it is of the
essence of the contract. I am sure it is only necessary to put before
so admirable a practitioner as Dr. Seward so simple, yet so momentous
a wish, to ensure its fulfilment."

He looked at me keenly, and seeing the negative in my face, turned to
the others, and scrutinized them closely. Not meeting any sufficient
response, he went on, "Is it possible that I have erred in my
supposition?"

"You have," I said frankly, but at the same time, as I felt, brutally.

There was a considerable pause, and then he said slowly, "Then I
suppose I must only shift my ground of request. Let me ask for this
concession, boon, privilege, what you will. I am content to implore
in such a case, not on personal grounds, but for the sake of others. I
am not at liberty to give you the whole of my reasons, but you may, I
assure you, take it from me that they are good ones, sound and
unselfish, and spring from the highest sense of duty.

"Could you look, sir, into my heart, you would approve to the full the
sentiments which animate me. Nay, more, you would count me amongst
the best and truest of your friends."

Again he looked at us all keenly. I had a growing conviction that
this sudden change of his entire intellectual method was but yet
another phase of his madness, and so determined to let him go on a
little longer, knowing from experience that he would, like all
lunatics, give himself away in the end. Van Helsing was gazing at him
with a look of utmost intensity, his bushy eyebrows almost meeting
with the fixed concentration of his look. He said to Renfield in a
tone which did not surprise me at the time, but only when I thought of
it afterwards, for it was as of one addressing an equal, "Can you not
tell frankly your real reason for wishing to be free tonight? I will
undertake that if you will satisfy even me, a stranger, without
prejudice, and with the habit of keeping an open mind, Dr. Seward will
give you, at his own risk and on his own responsibility, the privilege
you seek."

He shook his head sadly, and with a look of poignant regret on his
face. The Professor went on, "Come, sir, bethink yourself. You claim
the privilege of reason in the highest degree, since you seek to
impress us with your complete reasonableness. You do this, whose
sanity we have reason to doubt, since you are not yet released from
medical treatment for this very defect. If you will not help us in
our effort to choose the wisest course, how can we perform the duty
which you yourself put upon us? Be wise, and help us, and if we can
we shall aid you to achieve your wish."

He still shook his head as he said, "Dr. Van Helsing, I have nothing to
say. Your argument is complete, and if I were free to speak I should
not hesitate a moment, but I am not my own master in the matter. I
can only ask you to trust me. If I am refused, the responsibility
does not rest with me."

I thought it was now time to end the scene, which was becoming too
comically grave, so I went towards the door, simply saying, "Come, my
friends, we have work to do. Goodnight."

As, however, I got near the door, a new change came over the patient.
He moved towards me so quickly that for the moment I feared that he
was about to make another homicidal attack. My fears, however, were
groundless, for he held up his two hands imploringly, and made his
petition in a moving manner. As he saw that the very excess of his
emotion was militating against him, by restoring us more to our old
relations, he became still more demonstrative. I glanced at Van
Helsing, and saw my conviction reflected in his eyes, so I became a
little more fixed in my manner, if not more stern, and motioned to him
that his efforts were unavailing. I had previously seen something of
the same constantly growing excitement in him when he had to make some
request of which at the time he had thought much, such for instance,
as when he wanted a cat, and I was prepared to see the collapse into
the same sullen acquiescence on this occasion.

My expectation was not realized, for when he found that his appeal
would not be successful, he got into quite a frantic condition. He
threw himself on his knees, and held up his hands, wringing them in
plaintive supplication, and poured forth a torrent of entreaty, with
the tears rolling down his cheeks, and his whole face and form
expressive of the deepest emotion.

"Let me entreat you, Dr. Seward, oh, let me implore you, to let me out
of this house at once. Send me away how you will and where you will,
send keepers with me with whips and chains, let them take me in a
strait waistcoat, manacled and leg-ironed, even to gaol, but let me go
out of this. You don't know what you do by keeping me here. I am
speaking from the depths of my heart, of my very soul. You don't know
whom you wrong, or how, and I may not tell. Woe is me! I may not
tell. By all you hold sacred, by all you hold dear, by your love that
is lost, by your hope that lives, for the sake of the Almighty, take
me out of this and save my soul from guilt! Can't you hear me, man?
Can't you understand? Will you never learn? Don't you know that I am
sane and earnest now, that I am no lunatic in a mad fit, but a sane
man fighting for his soul? Oh, hear me! Hear me! Let me go, let me
go, let me go!"

I thought that the longer this went on the wilder he would get, and so
would bring on a fit, so I took him by the hand and raised him up.

"Come," I said sternly, "no more of this, we have had quite enough
already. Get to your bed and try to behave more discreetly."

He suddenly stopped and looked at me intently for several moments.
Then, without a word, he rose and moving over, sat down on the side of
the bed. The collapse had come, as on former occasions, just as I had
expected.

When I was leaving the room, last of our party, he said to me in a
quiet, well-bred voice, "You will, I trust, Dr. Seward, do me the
justice to bear in mind, later on, that I did what I could to convince
you tonight."


[Please make sure to read my vampire story, The Vampire's Daughter.]